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PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL
Submitted by Susan Sussman on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 11:58Groundhog Day is around the corner. Just the phrase “Groundhog Day” reminds me of the movie with the same title with Bill Murray. It’s one of my favorites because of its positive outlook. It's so full of possibility. Its message of "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again" makes me happy. It asks us to look at life from the perspective that says we all get lots of chances, that we DON'T have to get it right the first time
I love the premise of the film that you can go back and keep repeating things until you get it right. To me, that’s such a hopeful way of looking at things. Rather than focusing on the challenges we all face, the film asks us to focus on the opportunities inherent in these challenges: to cultivate persistence, optimism and self-confidence.
So here’s to Punxsutawney Phil and seizing the opportunity to learn from our challenges and mistakes, and make new beginnings!
WHATEVER IT TAKES
Submitted by Susan Sussman on Tue, 10/18/2011 - 09:54What do Homer’s epic The Odyssey, Oprah Winfrey and coaching have in common? I thought you’d never ask!
From high school, do you remember that section of the Odyssey where Odysseus must sail past the island home of the Sirens. These Sirens sing with the most beautiful, beguiling voices imaginable. And Odysseus is familiar with ocean lore: how sailors routinely become mesmerized by the Sirens and, under a spell, head straight for shore, dashing themselves against the rocks.
So what does Odysseus do? Wanting to hear the singing but knowing that he and his crew will be helpless in the face of the Sirens’ song, he makes wax earplugs for his crew and lashes himself to the mast of the ship! And when the ship sails past the island, Odysseus hears such enchanting, exquisite singing that he knows he would have followed the Sirens to death and beyond, had he been able.
Fast forward about two thousand years to Oprah Winfrey who in her video Make the Connection at first seems to be talking about diet, but then when you get up close and personal you see that she’s talking about lifestyle changes. The question she asks over and over again is “What do you need to do to reach your goals?” And eventually it becomes clear that the answer to “What do you need to do?” is “Whatever it takes.” You need to do whatever it takes.
Odysseus needed to lash himself to the mast of a ship. Oprah Winfrey needed to get up at 4:30 am and work out with a trainer for one hour every day and radically change her diet. Everything she tried in the past had failed. This total lifestyle change was what it would take for her to succeed.
Now to the tricky part - relating this to coaching. Coaches assist clients in learning about strategies and interventions, and tools and techniques for change. They offer encouragement, try to unlock motivation puzzles, and hold the client accountable. But only the client can make the commitment to “doing whatever it takes” to create the life they want. The client must empower himself and his coach to fully understand issues like:
• clients' standard interpretation of the way the world (personal and/or business) works and their place in it
• strengths, weaknesses and learning styles
• "engineering" an environment for success
• why the concept of “a good fit” is important in the context of work, relationships, or the academic arena
• why structure, planning, and setting goals and objectives create forward movement
and then to act in accordance with the knowledge gained.
Change can require persistence and the relentless pursuit of truth. It can require the continuous asking of questions like “What do I need to know about myself in order to be who I want to be and do what I want to do?” or “Now that I know myself better, what do I need to do in order to reach my goals?” Reaching our goals can require the motivation, energy and determination of a baby.
We can all learn a powerful lesson by remembering what it takes for a baby to learn how to walk: Falls. Crying. Bumps. Stumbling. Going back to creeping or crawling for a while. Bruises. Tenuous steps. But with constant encouragement, the baby happily continues its hazardous journey toward independence. The baby’s learning is inherent in the process. If the baby decided at some point in the process that it was too frustrating or too dangerous to continue, he would not learn to walk.
The value of the coaching is also in the process. We learn more today. We do more with that knowledge tomorrow. Today we’re creeping. And tomorrow we may stumble. But as long as we remain committed to “doing whatever it takes” we’re in process. There’s no reason to think we won’t succeed if we can only maintain the enthusiasm of a baby.
Out on uncharted waters I sometimes hear the Sirens calling. And because I need to, I believe I have what it takes to lash myself to the mast. I look forward to seeing you on the open seas - please signal as our ships cross paths.
Random Acts of Kindness
Submitted by Susan Sussman on Sun, 09/25/2011 - 11:26Yesterday I found a cell phone in the dressing room of a store. It was Saturday and the store was closing in 10 minutes, so I took the phone home because I though the person who left it in the dressing room would probably want it before the store reopened on Monday. I looked through the phone, noticed a field called "In Case of Emergency" and found numbers for "Home," "Mom" and "Dad." I called "Home" and left a message saying I'd found the phone and leaving my number.
After about a half hour, the found cell phone rang, and the phone's owner told me how happy she was that I'd found her phone and called her, saying she could come right over and pick it up. About an hour later, my door bell rang and Marina, an young woman in cut off shorts, thanked me profusely for finding and returning her phone.
Marina was really happy. But I was even happier. How often do we get/make opportunities to do something for somebody else and end up feeling like we've just won the lottery? I got to think of myself as a nice, thoughtful, honest, caring person. And a good citizen to boot! And it didn't cost me anything but a few minutes of my time. When Marina left, I asked her if she would "pay it forward" to somebody else, and she said she would. And then it got even better because I knew there would be a ripple effect to this small random act of kindness. Not just for Marina and me, but other people would benefit too.
And, speaking of ripples, it was already rippling in my mind...I've started thinking about giving myself the challenge of doing a random act of kindness every day for a year. I have a feeling it could have a profound effect on my life. Do you think I can do it?
Getting Back on the Horse
Submitted by Susan Sussman on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 10:20Yesterday I got an e-mail from someone who told me how much she enjoyed reading my blog. It was just the kick in the pants I needed because I've been feeling very guilty lately for not having posted anything to the blog in quite a while.
We all lead such busy lives that sometimes it's hard to keep our priorities in sharp focus - our sense of purpose can become blurred by the relentless competition for our time and energy. So, here's an inspiring thought: we need to remind ourselves to use our strengths and talents more regularly! Having regular opportunities to exercise our strengths contribute to our well-being, productivity and relationships. Even relationships with people we don't know. I think I was too focused on myself and the pleasure I get from writing to really imagine "readers" who would enjoy my postings and find value in reading them. So, thank you, Dear Reader, for your kind comments that have renewed my sense of purpose.
What will help You find a renewed sense of purpose?
What actions of Yours are impacting others, even though you may be unaware of that impact?
How can You get yourself back up on the horse?
How can we help each other to stay aware of our hopes, dreams, strengths and sense of purpose?
Please let us know how You would answer these questions.
THE BIG EASY
Submitted by Susan Sussman on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 12:29Not too long ago I was an exhibitor at the American Counseling Association conference in New Orleans, aka "The Big Easy," a sticky nick name that has left me wondering off and on about what it would be like if LIFE could be seen as "the big easy." Now that's a revolutionary idea! And perhaps an idea whose time has come.
What if each of us set an intention to make life easier? What if work places decided work could also be fun? What if the goal became making relationships easier? Or, even better, what if we each made up a game for our lives or businesses called "Moving to the Big Easy," and had the responsibility of making up the rules of our own game? What could that look like - your own Big Easy? Send a snapshot...find a cartoon that captures your vision...what would the song or movie title be. Let us know.
I love the idea of making a game out of it, and invite you to check out the work of one of my new favorite people, Jane McGonigal (the game lady) at www.janemcgonigal.com
ACADEMY AWARDS
Submitted by Susan Sussman on Mon, 02/28/2011 - 09:54
The Academy Awards were last night.
How can we as coaches use that annual ceremony to think about ourselves, our profession, and how we function within that profession? What would it look like if we used Powerful Questioning on ourselves and thought about what it would take to win an Academy Award in Coaching? And what if the organization/individual bestowing the awards was in fact each of us?
What would we have to do that we're not doing now? And who would we have to grow into being? What would we have to stop doing that we are doing now? And who would we have to stop being?
This has the possibility to be such a fruitful conversation that I hope many of you will respond to these questions with your comments. There's a universe of possible answers ranging anywhere from “ I need to do more and better marketing” to “I have to figure out how to be more self-confident.”
Let the conversation begin.
WHAT DO OPERA & COACHING HAVE IN COMMON?
Submitted by Susan Sussman on Sun, 02/06/2011 - 10:47Most of you probably don't know that I'm a huge opera buff. It's kind of scary to say that I've been listening to, going to and loving opera for almost 50 years now. So, last week I went to an HD showing at a local movie theater of the 2 one-act operas Cavalleria Rusticana and Pagliacci performed at La Scala in Milan.
Pagliacci is a quintessential play within a play. It can be a little tricky to decide whether what we see unfolding on stage is an example of art mimicking life...or perhaps it's life imitating art. So how does this theatrical device relate to coaching, you ask?
Much of coaching is about the story within the story.
Clients usually come to coaching sessions with some type of story: an incident, issue, perhaps a current challenge. And it's easy to get distracted by the story-du-jour and lose sight of the context. What about this story is important to the client? Why? How does this incident relate to what's most meaningful to this person? How is this story a microcosm of the macrocosm, a detail that foreshadows truths in the client's life at home, work or at play?
What helps you to look beyond the story for the message? How do we help ourselves do that? Please share you thoughts so we can all learn from one another.
MAKING OUR OWN WEATHER
Submitted by Susan Sussman on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 08:42It feels like it's been snowing forever! Last night in suburban Philly we got another foot.
The view outside my back windows is of a winter wonderland. Outside my front windows - not so much. At 7:30 am my neighbors are struggling to dig themselves out, yet again. If I had to guess I'd say there are sore backs, short tempers, cabin fever, seasonal affective disorder and boredom on my street today because the weather outside often seems to play havoc with our own internal weather gauges.
This might sound like a radical question: can we carry an internal weatherman around with us? Learn to forecast sunnier days inside regardless of the weather outside? Change our own barometric pressure? It can be so tempting to be reactive, to assign power and control to "the weather" or any outside person, force, or predicament.
So what can we do to stay sunny when it feels so much like external circumstances have rained on our parade?
Breathe
Count the blessings we do have
Find something in the situation to enjoy (My dog WILL love the snow!)
Take advantage of the situation (so yesterday I baked cookies)
Do something you enjoy (a walk, movie, chat with a friend)
Breathe again....
How would like to answer this question? What would you like to add to the list?
THEME FOR THE YEAR - A DELICIOUS IDEA
Submitted by Susan Sussman on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 11:33I just read part of an e-mail I got the other day from Conversations Among Masters, an organization that puts on an annual conference for master coaches that I've been attending.
They've just started a blog. One of the first entries was about themes for the New Year. And one of the themes delighted me: it was submitted by coach Joeann Fossland, and her theme is "Delicious." How delicious is that! Just imagine what 2011 might hold in store for Joeann with a "Delicious" theme.
This challenges me to think about a theme for my year. Stay tuned...
And what about you? Take the theme for the year challenge, and let us all know what you're theme for this year will be.
I HAVE A DREAM!
Submitted by Susan Sussman on Mon, 01/17/2011 - 19:34Today is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday.
It's hard to say much about Dr. King that's new because so much has already been said by so many. But one thing you may not already know is that he's high on my personal list of the people I admire and respect. I love words, and he was so eloquent. He was an eloquent thinker, writer and speaker. And a man who took action - eloquently.
And he was a visionary, literally - perhaps most well-remembered for his "I Have a Dream" speech in Washington. He was someone with dreams or visions of how we could create a better, safer, saner, happier world in which people would be judged "not but the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
He was a noble man, with noble ideals, whose capacity for big dreams inspired multitudes, and who like Ghandi before him and Mandella after him, had an unswerving commitment to nonviolence in the pursuit of their dreams.
We don't run into dreamers of this stature often. But that's OK. Smaller dreams are wonderful too. My dream is to be a good mom and grandmom and friend. To be a good coach and coach trainer. To do a little writing. To have some fun while I'm here. I'm not going to move mountains like King, Ghandi and Mandella. But I might move a few hills.
What's your dream?